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Drinking Games

The Drunk Man's Guide Presidential Race Drinking Game

2008 Presidential Race Drinking Game

Everyone knows Drunks don't know when to shut up about politics. Here's your chance to get political, get drunk, and play a game all at the same time:

  • If you see an American Flag in a political commercial – Drink 1 for each flag you see (try not to drown)
  • If anyone says "The Presidential Race is Too Close to Call" – Drink 1
  • If anyone mentions "Rudy Giuliani" and "The Events of 9/11" in the same sentence – Drink 2
  • If you see a negative campaign ad accusing a candidate of doing something heinous to…
    • "working class people" – drink 1
    • "seniors" – drink 2
    • "children" – drink 3
  • If anyone says something to the effect of "It is time for change", or "I'm the candidate for change" – Drink 1
  • If you see a campaign ad that shows Osama Bin Laden – Drink 2, but make sure you are facing Mecca
  • If anyone mentions Dennis Kucinich – Drink a glass of milk
  • If a commentator says that John Edwards is coming up behind Barak Obama – Drink 2, because that’s just gross
  • If anyone says "Hillary Clinton is on Top" – Drink the rest of your Fifth. It’s not part of the rules, but it’s all you can do to get the horrible visual out of your head.

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.

She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!"

The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!"
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
-Henny Youngman

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